tag:therealpaisley.com,2005:/blogs/love-me-forever-blog-71f7b20e-83e7-4fe3-a149-c6f9ce2dedb3?p=2Love Me Forever (Blog)2022-04-17T17:39:10-07:00Paisley Yankolovichfalsetag:therealpaisley.com,2005:Post/60481152015-01-19T17:00:00-07:002019-12-27T11:39:39-07:00No one dropped in, waiting in despair
<p>In 2009, when I was working on my record, LOVE ME FOREVER, I wanted to conclude it with something that mattered musically and culturally at that moment. A new duo from England called The Ting Tings were getting a lot of radio play in the States and I was thrilled when I heard their record to discover that all of their songs were catchy and clever-not just the radio hits.</p>
<p>Their song, WE STARTED NOTHING was a personal favorite, especially in that is was rather humor-free and spoke of responsibility in taking no responsibility, a non-choice that is a choice nonetheless. I recorded it as a secret track and personalized it to be, I STARTED NOTHING. It was quick, easy, fun and a fitting end to an oddball collection of songs that consisted of vocals juxtaposed against (sometimes seemingly random) noise.</p>
<p>LOVE ME FOREVER is one of my favorite creations and its final track, its most poignant. Obviously when I recorded it I had no idea that a few short years later my beautiful son would be killed in an accident. Retroactively, I STARTED NOTHING is a tribute of sorts. It was the “now” sound of the moment and my son, a brilliant musician, was a big fan as well. We used to sing Ting Tings’ songs in the car and around the house, laughing all the way.</p>
<p>We had something in common.</p>
<p>And I now have a bittersweet memory.</p>
<p>In preparing for this blog, I purchased the Tings’ second CD (they currently have three available) to see if I would still enjoy them as much. I did. Refreshing, fun, retro, catchy and wildly distracting from the doldrums that can make up a day in the life, they immediately reminded me of my son. His energy, his humor, his smile, his laugh, his talent and his eye for a great song to learn all the words to so he could either impress his friends and family-or merely make them laugh. (Don’t get me started on his legendary rendition of Black Eyed Peas’ HUMPS)</p>
<p>These are the precious discoveries along grief’s path that make it almost bearable to continue living without him. They are there for the times when no one drops in and I’m waiting in despair.</p>
Paisley Yankolovichtag:therealpaisley.com,2005:Post/60481142015-01-12T17:00:00-07:002015-01-13T14:49:04-07:00You call me up and treat me like a dog...
<p>Being a Christian and adhering to the old “Turn the other cheek” thing, and the “Love your enemies”, “Pray for those who spitefully use you” and “Give, give GIVE” stuff, sometimes it’s simply maddening to try to accommodate all of the requests upon our spiritual commitment and, quite simply, patience with idiots.</p>
<p>After the death of my son, many people contacted me with their woes and recent losses only to be stunned that I stated that I was not emotionally equipped to commiserate at that time. I received hate letters, threats of disclosure (“I’m going to tell all my friends…”) and a wave of rejection and dismissal.</p>
<p>I’ve stated many times over the years that the only times I am ever addressed as “Pastor” or called a “Christian” is when someone wants something from me or, more often the case, if I’ve come up short in people’s eyes. I’m “Pastor” when people want me to visit them in the hospital or if they need money or a letter of recommendation for school or a job. I quickly get downgraded to “Friend” when people need me to understand why they cannot attend an important event or donate to my ministry-even if they previously promised to do so.</p>
<p>Yet these are usually the same “friends’ that call on me for prayer, visitations, time and money. See the pattern? It may come as a surprise to you to learn that I am only human and I succumb to the same temptations that you do. In this case, there’s a lot of accumulated frustration and bitterness that ends with, “you weren’t there for me after I was there for you, so this time I’ll be busy elsewhere.”</p>
<p>I own it. And I own it shamelessly. There’s only so much time in a day and I’d rather pour my life into people and things that are the better for it than be drained continuously by people who refuse to learn from their own mistakes but are lightening quick to point out the errors in others: “Some pastor you are, Paisley.”</p>
<p>Yet God sees our lives so different. Since we all sin and fall short of His glory and are doomed to repeat the same sins time and time again, He figures since He is eternally patient with us, we can extend the same to each other. So even though you ask me to do whatever it is and I gladly oblige, and then you promise the same to me but when I call on you, you disappear or shower me with empty promises, when you come-a-knocking again, no matter how I feel (and I will be feeling something, I promise you that), I’ll do my very best to say yes because that’s what God does for me, time and time again.</p>
<p>Sheesh. I may have just discovered Basic Christianity.</p>
<p>BUT let it be known that I still don’t like it and would really appreciate it when I ask for your time, energy or money, you simply say yes now and again. In the past week I have been asked to do visits, counsel, give money, rides, help people move, go to friends’ shows, or allow people to go off on me in a misunderstanding that if the tables were turned, I’d have to mind my p’s and q’s. Every single person who did not get the exact Paisley they sought at the moment completely wigged out, told me off, or merely passed judgment on the legitimacy of my Christian-ness.</p>
<p>Goodness, I would love to have such luxuries with these same people. But I know better. I know that God will only let me go so long and so far away from unconditional love and service before I get-a-talking-to. Whomever the Father loves, the Father chastens, right? Well, He’s gaga over me.</p>
<p>So if you asked me for something and I could have done it, or helped in any way and I chose not to because in my mind you are a taker who has drained me more than enough, I am truly sorry. You’re still self-consumed to the point of being spiritually useless to most and damaging to all, but it’s not my place to turn you away.</p>
<p>I will try to serve you better and pray you don’t take advantage that I answer to a Higher Authority than my own opinion. BUT that doesn’t mean that I’m going to pretend this is not so. 2015 is my year to say it all and say it like it is…</p>
<p>Continue to take advantage and abuse God’s servants, continue to make promises in His name that you don’t plan to keep, and there will be much consequence. Not from me, I’ll still do whatever you ask .This is between you and God henceforth.</p>
<p>But continue to use words like “Pastor” and “Christian” as sarcastic jabs to control my will… God or no God, HEADS WILL ROLL.</p>
Paisley Yankolovichtag:therealpaisley.com,2005:Post/60481132014-11-25T17:00:00-07:002022-04-17T17:39:10-07:00So Many Nights I Sit By My Window
<p>As I see everyone posting on Facebook etc about gratitude I would first like to say that I’m grateful to all the wonderful people who have TRULY reached out to my family and me during this horrendous year of pain and confusion. You have made a world of difference and I hope I have let you all know individually. If not, write me private and allow me that privilege.</p>
<p>That having been said… I know far too many “Christians” and “Christian Ministers” to not feel remiss if I failed to point out that Jesus said that if you visit, call, text, email, Facebook someone who is hungry, sick, thirsty, in prison or in any kind of pain or struggle… Uhg! Do I really have to spell this out?</p>
<p>As I approach the one year anniversary of my son’s death, I can hold my tongue (finger?) no longer. Shame on you “Christians” who think it’s enough to “like” a post on the internet. That’s not ministry unto Christ by HIS standards. And how many of you promised to keep in touch? How many promised to visit? How many ministers/pastors promised to council me and didn’t even bother returning my calls, emails or Facebook messages? Where did you expect me to turn after I turned to you and you ignored me? YOU PROMISED TO BE THERE FOR ME!</p>
<p>Yes, God got me thus far. Yes, I’ve had wonderful support from the above mentioned. I am writing this, not for vindication, but because if this is how you’ve treated me and mine in our anguish, it is indicative of how you are treating others.</p>
<p>And again, I say, shame on you. And repent! React all you want to my diatribe but it doesn’t change the truth… It’s the holiday season and many of us are suffering and alone. Where are God’s people? Not only when we need them but when we actually request them?</p>
<p> </p>
Paisley Yankolovichtag:therealpaisley.com,2005:Post/60481122014-10-14T17:00:00-07:002019-12-27T11:39:39-07:00Cross my heart but don't wanna die...
<p>In the past week, two actresses I admired past away. Both were in their mid-fifties and that took me aback some. I’m more than six months into my fiftieth year of life and, since I’ve had such a rough year, it’s not uncommon for me to think about my mortality almost daily.</p>
<p>What if I only have four years or so left? What do I want to do with my remaining time? What do I see when I reflect on the years that are behind me?</p>
<p>Two days ago marked my 32<sup>nd</sup> year walking with Jesus Christ. Of course it was a day of reflection, introspection, and soul-searching. I’m nowhere near the man I expected to be the night I accepted Christ at nineteen. In some ways I’ve surpassed my goals and expectations but in most, I’m a huge disappointment to myself.</p>
<p>Granted I’m depressed at having lost my sweet son only a few months ago. But my self-assessment is fairly honest and realistic: I’m still as much of a sinner as I was when I started this journey. Sure, there are some things I’ve given up, curtailed, or managed to keep under wraps but, by and large I’m angry, bitter, jealous, doubtful and judgmental to degrees greater than I would ever want to admit-even to God.</p>
<p>The only thing I can brag about is God’s consistency to forgive me and help me clean up my messes along life’s way. Christ has been ever-present through every high and low and everything in between. This has been the case even when I went days, weeks, months, even years without fervently seeking Him. My testimony will ultimately be His as He has done all the heavy lifting while I was petty, fearful and lazy for the most part.</p>
<p>And now that I’m on the other side of middle age, what will I do for Him? I’ve been in the ministry for 32 years and have been so fortunate to have this as a vocation, to see countless people come to Jesus and to play dress up for the better part of the past decade.</p>
<p>But what will my legacy be? What will people say about me? About my life? What will my children remember most about me? What matters most? I weep as I write this as I honestly have no answers. I only know that Jesus is true and I am not. I know that any good in me is actually Him working in me and through me and I only pray that the people I love with stop resisting Him and submit totally and completely to His Lordship.</p>
<p>Not only am I concerned about your eternal souls but I am also saddened by the inevitable regret you have to look forward to as you age and realize all you could have become if you had allowed Jesus to have His way with you. Don’t put it off any further. Right here, right now, please pray…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jesus I know I’m a sinner</p>
<p>I know I have wronged others but even more so, I have wronged you.</p>
<p>I did not create myself yet I have been my own God.</p>
<p>I’m ready to admit and change all of this to honor who You are and what You should be in my life: My Lord and my Savior.</p>
<p>Jesus, please come into my life. Come into my heart. Teach me to think, live, feel and be like you. Help me to help others and to glorify God as that was His intent in creating me.</p>
<p>My way is not working, Lord.</p>
<p>I may not understand everything about You and what this all means but I know something is missing. Please reveal yourself to me and forgive my sins, heal my heart and fill me with hope that I’m eternal and that this life is merely a blip in my existence.</p>
<p>I will thank you, and praise you and serve you forever more.</p>
<p>Amen.</p>
Paisley Yankolovichtag:therealpaisley.com,2005:Post/60481112014-06-18T17:00:00-07:002014-06-20T13:56:20-07:00There's A Man Goin 'Round Taking Names...
<p>Tonight I went to a monthly support group meeting for parents of dead children. I sat in a circle of grieving men and women and listened as they painfully recounted their loss and the baby steps they have taken to mend their lives. Like everyone else, I feigned as much hope as I could muster while feeling hopeless inside.</p>
<p>I lost my son six months ago and not a minute goes by that I am not thinking about him, feeling his presence or worrying that he is alright or not. Parenting doesn’t die until the parent does. And I am regrettably still alive.</p>
<p>My pain is beyond measure and beyond relief. Yet, daily I am asked how I am doing. The answer never changes-on the inside. I am lost, broken, destroyed, ruined, hopeless… As interchangeable as my feelings are, so are my memories of the people who have paraded in and out of my life during and since this tragedy.</p>
<p>Countless faces of ghosts of friends and family haunt me almost as much as my son. Who were these people and where are they now? Did I not hear an endless chorus of “We’re here for you, Paisley”? But I am looking around and I see no one.</p>
<p>Is it right to lend a helping hand if it’s only for that moment? Is it wholesome to promise the moon when it’s not yours to give? Even the people I know that have lost children remain silent. This surprises me as I am quick to reach out to others as it gives me a sense of purpose.</p>
<p>I’m through making excuses for what might be going on in the minds of others. I make no excuses for my behavior as well. I’m suffering and I want, no, need, no, expect assistance. I know over a thousand people in my city alone. Save for the large group that came out for my son’s funeral, I’ve seen almost no one and heard from very few.</p>
<p>Is it so hard to reach out and be a comfort to a friend?</p>
<p>As I re-read these words I can sense that they may come off as self pity. Maybe so, but it’s my blog and I’ll cry if I want to. Actually, I’m merely drawing a picture of a true-life event where too many people to mention-including a majority of which claim to be Christians-have royally missed a mark set by Jesus Himself. In Matthew 25, beginning with Verse 30, Jesus instructs us that caring for His people is synonymous with caring for Him.</p>
<p>As I struggle to forgive the pettiness, laziness and the oh-so-busyness around me while navigating through the greatest emotional pain a human can bear, I pray that the Holy Spirit will simply convict people to step up and take care of Christ’s people that are in need. How hard is a phone call, a visit, a prayer or a gesture?</p>
<p>For my remaining kids and me, six months has been barely a moment and yet we’ve watched the world go right on without us. Friends and family have vanished-many for good because our sorrow is too much to witness. We talk about my son and we weep often. Ours is not a happy house but one full of love and respect. And Jesus. For while many have abandoned, One remains sure.</p>
<p>I am beyond grateful to my Lord for how he has tended to this flock. We’re sickly, weak and maimed, yet He loves us and treats us as whole. He assures me every day that I’m not alone. And that He is not done with any of the AWOLs.</p>
<p>Shame on you, promise breakers. You who speak a big game when the moment is heated but disappear into the smoke and mirrors that is your life. We have all been called into spiritual service in Jesus’ Name. You are not exempt!</p>
<p>Now I will get a ton of emails and comments from people defending themselves. You do not answer to me, “friend.” You answer to Jesus. I’m on my knees daily begging for help in my agony. Care to join me, right where you are at, in a bit of humility before the Lord?</p>
<p>Jesus asked why we say we love Him but take a pass on doing what He asks of us.</p>
<p>Well, there’s a Man going ‘round taking names. Each one of us will have to give an account for our lives. Google the parable I referenced, show Jesus some respect, and care for His people.</p>
<p>And keep your excuses for the devil. </p>
Paisley Yankolovichtag:therealpaisley.com,2005:Post/60481102012-09-12T17:00:00-07:002013-05-28T04:45:10-07:00Draw your ear near...
<p>After a lifetime of being misunderstood I begin this blog by saying that I sadly expect to be misunderstood here. So much so that I plan to ignore most (if not all) of the emails I will be receiving on this one. But a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do. And it is MY blog after all, no?</p>
<p>That being said, my experience with God may be better than the one you are having.</p>
<p>For the past 30+ years that I have known, loved, served, followed and represented for the Lord, I have never once doubted His identity as God Incarnate, Savior, Lord and the only way not only to the Father but to eternal life with the Father via repentance from past sin and acceptance of Him being The Only Way.</p>
<p>Yet, in my ministry I keep coming across a particular kind of “Christian.” Well, two kids, actually.</p>
<p>The Ex-Christian: Someone either raised in the church or who stumbled onto Jesus at some point. Someone who had a bad experience in the church, or with Christians, or with God Himself (“my Tongues don’t work”). Someone who is now a Pagan, Wiccan, Satanist, Metaphysician or Buddhist. Someone who has no intention of returning to Christianity but really likes what I do (?) and wants to be around it. (Again, ?)</p>
<p>The New Age Christian: Quite possibly the person above or… Someone who has decided that Christianity is too limited and has explored other religions, sciences and spiritual paths for further enlightenment. They used to pray exclusively but now they believe their thoughts have power and they “know” about energy and the Universe. These people also seem to like what I do but rarely get too close as they know where I stand on Metaphysics-and all other religions, sciences and spiritual paths.</p>
<p>To the Ex-Christian I ask, was it ever about Jesus or just fitting into a group? Did you ever know the forgiveness and acceptance of God, and if so, how on earth did you walk away from that? To the New Age Christian I ask the above and… Was Jesus simply not enough? Was he merely a stepping stone to a higher plane of consciousness? Does it matter that He said that the buck ends with Him and adding or subtracting to that is an abomination?</p>
<p>Haters go ahead and hate but you exercise your free speech all over the place and this is my platform. It has my name on it and it comes with an advisory label: Actual Christian Within.</p>
<p>How could anyone meet my Jesus and stray? How could anyone who knows my God be distracted or tempted down other paths? How could anyone who knows what it FEELS like to be saved, turn my Savior into a master teacher of really good things? I’m convinced that it is an impossibility and I challenge all to look within themselves and prove me otherwise.</p>
<p>Did you need forgiveness from God then and do you need it now? I do.</p>
<p>Did you need to be saved and were you saved? Yes, and I was.</p>
<p>Did your heart break with an understanding of who Jesus was and how much you had betrayed Him and followed other Gods? Mine did.</p>
<p>Did you receive His provision of salvation and promise to His face that you would serve only Him and no other Gods? I did.</p>
<p>Did you read in His Word that all of these things should be common in the Christian experience? I did.</p>
<p>Do you know people who have done all of the above and never strayed? I do and I am one of those people.</p>
<p>How were you tempted to walk away?</p>
<p>How were you tempted to add concepts and ideals that were not of God?</p>
<p>What is the Truth today?</p>
<p>Did it change over the years?</p>
<p>Did God?</p>
<p>Am I making you angry by coming across holier than thou, arrogant, judgmental or simple?</p>
<p>I would never forsake my God for anything or anyone, nor would I add any “truth” or re-invent the wheel that is His word. I met Him, fell in love with Him and have clung to Him ever since without the aid of alternative religions, sciences or paths. And I have never considered going elsewhere with my heart.</p>
<p>But I know what it means to be lost and what it means to be found.</p>
<p>I’ve known and will always know salvation.</p>
<p>I don’t want light or energy or self love, I want Jesus.</p>
<p>Jesus created the universe so it’s nothing compared to Him.</p>
<p>There is no power in heaven or on earth greater than His.</p>
<p>There is no higher power, greater light or energy whatsoever.</p>
<p>I find no fault in Him.</p>
Paisley Yankolovichtag:therealpaisley.com,2005:Post/60481042012-09-10T17:00:00-07:002012-09-11T12:48:38-07:00Listen children to a story...
<p>I’m a wordsmith-a word addict, if you will. As a preacher I mention all the time that it was my obsession with words that drove my stage career and ultimately led up to my Biblical scholar status. Because of the “type” of music I’ve chosen to write for my records, people are always surprised when I mention my influences throughout the years.</p>
<p>Obviously I’ve listened to a LOT of David Bowie, Lou Reed, Queen, Sex Pistols, Rolling Stones etc. in my life. Patti Smith and Elvis Costello also were huge teachers for me. But when I mention my obsession with Bob Dylan, the entire Peter, Paul, and May songbook, my meeting Burt Bacharach and Paul Stanley the same night and not knowing what excited me more or which Joan-Armatrading or Jett-taught me the most, people seem stunned.</p>
<p>First of all, most of us musicians have a vast knowledge of music history and wildly diverse tastes and influences. This is the secret sauce to our witch’s brew, the invisible magic that hits all the right visceral buttons that, hopefully, make you love us so much. Second of all, I did not live in a cave my whole life listening to music from 1976.</p>
<p>Nope, I just like it a lot.</p>
<p>For me, it’s always been the story of the song. KISS has a barely remembered song GOING BLIND (written by Paul, sung by Gene) which is still my most favorite and it packs more thought (and anguish) than their entire catalogue put together. HA! Most readers are probably confused that I’d refer to KISS at all in a blog that’s ultimately about poetry.</p>
<p>Then there was LOVE ME FOREVER…</p>
<p>A dear friend wrote me upon the release of my CD, LOVE ME FOREVER and said, “Great record but I’m not sure why you chose to bother with ONE TIN SOLDIER.” Well, the song was used in the movie BILLY JACK, a transcendent film released during the birth of an amazing time in American cinema. It wasn’t a new song, but a new version that managed to capture the spirit of the film but also stand alone as a statement against well-meaning do-gooders that can destroy a nation (ahem).</p>
<p>The best songs never lose their relevance because their message never becomes outdated. I love glam gems like BANG A GONG, LITTLE WILLY and even, SPIRIT IN THE SKY (sorry Norman, I know you hate glam). These songs always sound new because they address thoughts and feelings that are real in every generation. I chose ONE TIN SOLDIER and all of the songs on this record because I have loved them since the day I heard them and will love them til the day I die.</p>
<p> And because I am convinced of their relevance.</p>
<p>Even the secret track, I STARTED NOTHING by The Ting Tings, which was a hit at the time of my recording it. Such simple, clever and timeless poetry: “I started nothing, I wish I did.” I felt like I was saying, I didn’t write this, I wish I did. </p>
<p>I feel the same way about SWEET BONDAGE, my mash up of KISS, QUEEN and THE TUBES (another massive influence). When Freddy Mercury cooed “You call me sweet like I’m some kind of cheese,” I knew I’d found nirvana. So much passion and sweet pain in a single sentence.</p>
<p>The one that got away (meaning the one I did not record-yet)</p>
<p>The Sex Pistols’ BODIES, whose lyrics are unprintable here, is hands-down one of the most compelling outbursts of rock and roll poetry of my life. Here is a band that is barely recognized for its talent and every song on their only real record is laced with a level of communication rarely seen outside a poetry slam setting. Rock and roll was supposed to be about rebellion and debauchery but punk rock brought an awakening of social awareness to new listeners because many of its performers were products of the blues, folk and 60s protest rock movements.</p>
<p>There’s poetry to be found everywhere (check out the poetry books in the Bible) because paraphrasing dear, sweet Rod Stewart, every person is a story. And we’re surrounded by people. My musical ears and visceral feelers have always been drawn to the best tale being told in the best possible way. I hope I have served my own story in this fashion through my songs.</p>
<p>But just in case, I am working on a whole new batch of wicked wonderfulness for my next studio concoction. </p>
Paisley Yankolovichtag:therealpaisley.com,2005:Post/60481052012-09-09T17:00:00-07:002012-12-13T14:32:50-07:00You want me so badly, can't have me, no more, no...
<p>It’s 9-11-12. Today, everyone in America is inspired to reflect upon a series of horrible events that happened eleven years ago. I posted on my Facebook a picture of Ronald Gamboa, Daniel Brandhorst and their 3-year-old son, David who died when United Flight 175 crashed into the South Tower of the World Trade Center.</p>
<p>To be honest I half expected a series of negative jabs at the fact that I chose a gay family to honor over police men and women, firefighters or a more traditional America couple/family that perished on those planes.</p>
<p>Sad, no, pathetic that these thoughts even crossed my mind. People died that day. All kinds of people. People who God loved. People who Jesus died for. Yet here I am wondering if I’m going to be accused of using this day of mourning and remembrance as an opportunity to grandstand politically. How petty.</p>
<p>Speaking of petty, I’m uncomfortable with flying, have been for a long time. When I see news reports of planes crashing, I always think the same thing: What frame of mind were people in right before realizing that death was immanent?</p>
<p>In my younger years, I was devastated by a break up just seconds before boarding a plane for an 11 hour flight from London to Los Angeles. I cried the whole way home and kept thinking to myself, “It would serve so and so right if this plane crashed.” Petty.</p>
<p>We argue, fight, insult, damage and break up so often in this life. We suffer, we cry, we heal, we rebound and do it all over again. Again and again. How many times do you think about the people who have hurt you? I think about them more often than I care to admit. Do you look them up on Facebook? I do. I was happily surprised when I looked up my most recent “ex” and saw they had suffered a break-up not too long ago. Petty.</p>
<p>Most fights are petty. Most break ups are about petty things or major mistakes in judgment brought about by pettiness, selfishness and just plain old ungratefulness. Then one day a group of people board a plane and all the pettiness comes to a halt.</p>
<p>Take a moment to tell your loved ones how you feel. Pray for and with your children. Never allow a day to go by without reminding the people in your life that they matter and never allow a night to end in an argument or separation. Your plane may be next and your last thoughts in this life should be, “God, take care of the people who know I love them” not, “Oh God, I never told them…”</p>
<p>My prayers continually go out to all of the people in this country and around the world who lost loved ones on 9/11, to the survivors who are now suffering residual sickness and to their families and friends who are holding them in prayer, vigil or, unfortunately, in mourning. </p>
<p>Everybody talks about America and what it’s supposed to stand for. I see America as people, an enormous collection of precious souls, that have no gender, status, color, sexual orientation and opinions. Jesus lived to reach us. He died to save us. He forever exists to intercede for us. Our pettiness has always gotten the best of us. Let’s lay it down in honor of those who have perished and will continue to perish on account of this tragedy.</p>
<p>And for the people in our lives that matter. They deserve to know how much we love them a lot more than how much they get on our nerves. </p>
Paisley Yankolovichtag:therealpaisley.com,2005:Post/60481062012-09-08T17:00:00-07:002012-09-13T09:15:55-07:00Saw you on the street, you looked a little funny...
<p>So I had a lunch meeting today at a local burger place. When I pulled up and parked my car, a homeless guy, clearly younger than me, approached my window. I’m not one to give these guys money as there are so many of them in my area, I’m afraid of a SUDDENLY, LAST SUMMER feeding frenzy. Like everybody else, I rarely have cash on me these days-and certainly not change-and I’m all too aware at how many of these guys are merely hustlers.</p>
<p>After our exchange, which left me feeling guilty, helpless, and useless, I decided to move my vehicle to a different spot and when I did, it simply died. I can’t find anyone to follow my towed car to a mechanic and give me a ride home so I’ve opted to leave my car at Lenny’s Burgers, and tow it later when I have some assistance.</p>
<p>My lunch date drove me home and sat with me a bit until I was calm and now I’m safely nestled in my air-conditioned home drinking a soothing hot cup of water-good for any stress-induced gallbladder attack (Google it). My cat Johnny is nearby giving himself a bath, purring up a storm, so all must be well.</p>
<p>I know in two hours my kid will be home to run these dreaded errands with me and I have friends who will later find their way to me as well. I have a handful of people I can call and I know that financially this will all work out.</p>
<p>Knowing that I was going to write a blog today inspired by the opening line of my song, LOVE ME FOREVER (available for free download @ <a href="http://www.paisleyyankolovich.com/" data-imported="1">www.paisleyyankolovich.com</a>), I had already considered writing about the homeless-or whatever these challenging, lost souls are that have taken over all of my fast food establishments and convenience stores.</p>
<p>I had written LOVE ME FOREVER a long time ago when I was quite ill. The world around me (including family and friends) were convinced I had AIDS though that was not the case. Instead I had a 5 year battle with a weird cancer. God healed me and now I have a ministry because of it. That’s probably a way too simplistic account but it will have to suffice for now.</p>
<p>Prior to my healing, I learned what it was like to be shunned by practically everybody and when out in public, be treated like a freak-no, I was treated like leper, like I had The Plague. I wrote this song during that time and it has always stuck with me as not only a bitter remembrance of a crucible I’d prefer to forget, but as an anthem of perseverance and self-worth. </p>
<p>I know what it’s like to have people be afraid of me for something I had no control over. I know what it’s like to be abandoned because of it. I also know that the Lord was with me every minute of every day, comforting me and guiding me until I was on the other side of misery.</p>
<p>Today I am pressed to reflect on that period of my life in light of where my life is now. Today I seem to have family, friends, a church, co-workers, networkers and just plain folk who are around to lend a helping hand.</p>
<p>Yes, I had a rough start to my afternoon. And yes, it’s not over yet. But I am so aware that I’m not alone in my trial. I learned during those dark years that Jesus is always present even when no one else seems to be. Now it’s evident that I have the best of both worlds: Jesus and some pretty amazing human examples of His love and constant presence.</p>
<p>God bless the people that helped me through this day!</p>
Paisley Yankolovichtag:therealpaisley.com,2005:Post/60481072012-09-07T17:00:00-07:002019-12-27T11:39:38-07:00Hark! The herald angels sing...
<p>My first memories of this song are from, A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS. Linus has just rebuked the Peanuts gang and taught them the “true” meaning of Christmas. After their come-to-Jesus talk, the gang breaks out in happy chorus singing this wonderful, old, Christmas favorite.</p>
<p>As a Jewish kid I knew very little about the Christ story but had great fascination with the holiday programs surrounding Christmas: RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REINDEER, FROSTY THE SNOW MAN, and my personal favorite, THE LITTLE DRUMMER BOY caused me to wonder why this holiday inspired so many television specials-heck, even Herman Munster was in one!</p>
<p>If Christmas was just for Christians how come it was everywhere? And what did all this mean?</p>
<p>I’d stay up late every Christmas Eve to watch every version of A CHRISTMAS CAROL and at midnight I’d wait for something magical to happen. It never did. I always went to bed sad wondering why Santa never showed up at my house and why there were no songs of joy and mystery to be sung.</p>
<p>I know now that it’s because we (my family and I) had no redemption. Christmas is about the birth of The Redeemer and its songs reflect a hope for salvation. Accepting that we are sinners in need of a Savior and accepting the Savior God gave us gives us lots to sing about!</p>
<p>After celebrating 29 Christmases thus far I am finding that these songs (and countless others like MARY’S BOY CHILD, and SOME CHILDREN SEE HIM) take on new meaning each holiday season. As I grow in my relationship with Christ so does my recognition of His grace, mercy, love and deliverance.</p>
<p>I don’t necessarily look forward to Christmastime. Not completely. There’s still that midnight sadness as I remember the lost little Jewish boy waiting for the Great Christmas Pumpkin. In my case, He arrived. I just didn’t know how to see Him at the time. For so many, Christmas is a time for regret and the recognition of loss. Lost time, lost opportunities, and especially lost relationships fill the minds of so many during the holidays.</p>
<p>While countless Christians celebrate the birth of their savior with family and friends, there are far too many that have never met Him, no, that have never been <em>introduced</em> to Him, that wonder why they feel like they are on the outside looking in.</p>
<p>Jesus said that all heaven rejoices when a single soul is saved (Luke 15:7). With three months to prepare, why not plan to leave our homes on Christmas and visit someone who has nothing to celebrate. Exchange gifts the day before or after, have that nifty dinner some other time. Visit someone. Don’t invite them to watch your wonderful life, infiltrate theirs!</p>
<p>Maybe by your act of selflessness a single soul will be saved.</p>
<p>Hark! The herald angels sing, indeed. </p>
Paisley Yankolovichtag:therealpaisley.com,2005:Post/60481082012-09-06T17:00:00-07:002013-01-12T20:34:21-07:00Got an itch in my heart...
<p>I woke up this morning after having a really frustrating nightmare. A co-worker was purposely trying to annoy me with loud music, loud phone conversations, knocking stuff over on my desk, flirting, giggling, etc. I think I woke up right at the point when I had just begun the physical altercation which would end in her demise.</p>
<p>I had so much rage! My jaw was popping from grinding my teeth so hard and my heart was racing. Racing so much I was a bit alarmed and physically uncomfortable. I was wondering if this is what having a heart attack in your sleep was like. Would I have a vivid nightmare to go along with the trauma in my chest?</p>
<p>Of course my heart and ultimately, I calmed down. And I began to seek the Lord. Truthfully, there had been a big stressor that occurred last night shortly before bedtime which could easily be the source of my intense dreams. Nights like that lead to mornings like this and mornings like this lead to introspection, soul searching and prayer.</p>
<p>As I write this, my first blog of 2013, I am convinced that I have heard the voice of the Lord and He has revealed the itch in my heart.</p>
<p>For all the gregarious flamboyance that is not only the personality of my art and ministry, but also my disposition as well, like most people, I crave a quiet life. My definition of quiet life is one where I am free to roam about whatever city I’m in and do my small part to contribute to God’s work on Planet Earth with as little opposition and judgment as possible.</p>
<p>I am convinced that I should be able to create music, do my performances, make movies, and preach as much as I do without incident. As public as all of that is, for me it’s a private affair that others get to witness. As foolish as it sounds, I’m always surprised by the attention I get-especially criticism.</p>
<p>Not that I expect everyone to like me.</p>
<p>I’m simply surprised that people take the time to communicate disdain of any kind. Especially people who are closest to me. Not friends, mind you as my friends (relationships I have cultivated though time) are people who understand the Big Picture Of Paisley. My friends are people that understand that for me to have success I must experiment constantly and ultimately make mistakes along the way.</p>
<p>My friends are there to put major-seeming events into perspective so I can get back to the work at hand: trying continually to find new, creative and expressive ways to communicate my relationship with Christ to others. And to channel His understanding of them to them as well.</p>
<p>This is no small task and even no smaller responsibility.</p>
<p>Ministry, admit it or not, tends to be a people-pleasing industry and this is something I battle within myself daily. I want you to like me because I think if you like me, you’ll hear me better. Sadly, this is where my nightmare comes into play. Jesus did not run around trying to win friends and get compliments. He did not ask to be loved. He said it was an essential for our salvation to love Him.</p>
<p>As I take Jesus to the masses-especially with my oft times dark and acerbic approach-I must constantly remind myself that it’s the long haul of a life’s work that will change the world not merely “tonight” and the people I win over.</p>
<p>My work is honest and clear. It’s transparent and vulnerable. And it’s on display, for free, for the whole world to scrutinize forever more. People that are truly seeking answers to the itch in their heart will easily see a thread of salvation and hope through the majority of my songs and sermons. People looking for another Christ to crucify will find all the fodder they need for their next victim.</p>
<p>I love my life. I love my work. Because I love my God.</p>
<p>Jesus never kissed ass. Paul never kissed ass. Neither do I.</p>
<p>I genuinely love the souls I am presented with and anyone who takes the time to know me THROUGH MY WORK sees that. Every pore in my body cries out for revival, change and peace amongst God’s people. But we are flesh and flesh seeks its own.</p>
<p>Too often I allow people into my life (the work space of yesterday’s nightmare) who are loud, annoying, clumsy, selfish, flirty and obnoxious. I do this to try to win their souls for Christ and/or help them wrangle their flesh unto obedience to Him.</p>
<p>I think for 2013 I will not do this. I think I will merely speak and live the Truth and not suffer “co-workers” not really there to get the job done.</p>
<p>I’m working on three new records at once, have dozens of shows planned, movies in the works and, of course, blogs to write. Maybe it’s time to admit that this is enough. Maybe it’s time to admit that I desire the rest of my life to be quiet. Maybe it’s time to dismiss the troublemakers from the work place or allow them to self-destruct with their weird religious-ness while I stay focused on the amazing, satisfying and productive work that God has placed in front of me.</p>
<p>I think it’s time to kick the devil out of my office, don’t you?</p>
<p>Hmm… my heart’s racing again. Imagine that!</p>
Paisley Yankolovichtag:therealpaisley.com,2005:Post/60481092012-09-05T17:00:00-07:002013-05-12T04:06:56-07:00I saw the tub crash through the window...
<p>You know the old one about the baby and the bathwater? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said, “Don’t throw the Baby Jesus out with the bath water” in reference to the profoundly embarrassing actions and behavior if some so-called Christians.</p>
<p>And here we are again…</p>
<p>It seems that every day some “Christian” group is emailing another “Christian” group “factual” emails about banning, boycotting or protesting something or someone that poses a threat to the American Christian Way Of Life. Jane Fonda pops up a lot, as does Obama, Bill Maher and practically anything that even hints of the so-labeled Gay Agenda.</p>
<p>Last night someone asked me what I thought about the “Corpus Christi” movie opening in June. It had been so long that I thought of this “movie” that I had to be reminded what it was. Back in the late 90s, Terrence McNally wrote a play called “Corpus Christi.” It was the Passion Play as seen through the eyes and experiences of a gay Jesus and His gay apostles.</p>
<p>Obviously it was controversial. It was also beautiful, creative and thought-provoking about the nature and purpose of Christianity. No wild orgies, just an alternative perspective not unlike if we saw Native Americans, space aliens or, heck, The Peanuts Gang acting out this historical event. Of course there was poetic license because that’s what it was: poetry.</p>
<p>Everyone has the right to explore, experience, question and act out the Passion Play, no? What a wonderful way for people to discover its power and majesty!</p>
<p>Now there is an email circulating that a film version of this piece is opening soon at a multi-plex near you and all Christians must boycott it! Like this is ever going to play at a mall, lol! In fact, there is no film version being released, as there is no film being made. This same email circulated in 2010 (the exact same email, down to the release month) after it had already circulated a year before!</p>
<p>The problem runs deeper than busybody “Christians” having nothing better to do with their time than to send out bogus, unsubstantiated emails. People are writing and redistributing lies! These lies are nothing more than gossip that has become virtual hate crimes! Think of all the people that are harmed in this exchange…</p>
<p>Starting with God who sent Jesus to put an end to this division…</p>
<p>The person writing it is harming themselves and is responsible for… The persons reading it are stumbled and harm themselves when they succumb to the lies and temptation to redistribute hate and they are responsible for… Future recipients who do all of the above harm themselves and are responsible for… And the beat goes on.</p>
<p>How “Christians” think they have any right to picket, protest, debate and demand anything in this life is beyond me. There is no Bible to support it and there is plenty Bible to challenge it. But to fire off an email of this sort… Heck, to not be hurt, offended and scared at reading such an email…</p>
<p>I challenge that Jesus even lives in you if it makes sense to perpetuate hate crimes of this nature.</p>
<p>Jesus would never have stopped so low.</p>
<p>But this is where Satan lives and breathes.</p>
<p>I was disgusted during election time and what “Christians” were saying about “their” America. And I am disgusted now. If any of my “friends” send, re-send, post or repost virtual hate attacks on ANYONE you can rest assured I will challenge our friendship.</p>
<p>If I’m not going to be unequally yoked with unbelievers, I’m certainly not going to be unequally yoked with hatemongers, bigots, liars, fakes who CLAIM to be my brothers and sisters in Christ. You people are deceived and may want to turn off your computers, put down your cell phones and crack open the ole King James Bible and READ EVERYTHING JESUS EVER SAID.</p>
<p>You are the authors and perfectors of your own judgment as you judge, bully and crucify in the name of our Lord. Shame on you! How can the rest of us reveal a loving, accepting, go-to-the-end-of-the-world-to find-you Savior when our comrades are proving Him otherwise to a dying world?</p>
<p>STOP!</p>
<p>Let’s pray…</p>
Paisley Yankolovich