Door closed in my face, dreams sat in my lap, my eyes clouded with tears...

In 2004 when I was preparing to record Not Unclean, I was short one song and decided to write something special catering to the style of the record more than the message.  I wrote Shouldn’t Hurt Like This in the course of  a couple of hours and made very few changes to it along the way.  To me it’s one of the most interesting songs on the record and was a stepping stone to my experimentation on future records.

I could hear someone laughing, I could hear someone screaming, “Justify my fears”

Everyone has had their heart broken and we all know the humiliation that comes with trusting someone so completely only to have them toss us away. Being afraid to get close to the next person is logical especially when the previous one has conditioned us to be afraid.  Each step of the way seems to get more challenging as we rack up a lifetime of heartache, often leaving us to second guess our next step.

Don’t you know you almost had me convinced that it shouldn’t hurt like this?

Who am I addressing here? Even I’m not too sure. While the next line (“wrapped around your finger so tight”) clearly refers to a lover, I’m clearly insinuating that God seems to “trick” us into some of our most volatile relationships. By that I mean that He leads us to growth encounters that don’t always turn out as we expect. Instead we find ourselves hurt, confused and oft times seemingly lost until we have time and space away from the experience only to discover…

Jesus, You step in, Your warm embrace and I give in     

Ahhh… the healing embrace of our Savior. So sweet is His presence and the comfort it brings that, much like the stories we hear about childbirth, we almost forget the pain we’ve just encountered. Yet it is still impossible for us to ignore a major life change. Whether romantic or otherwise,  we are suddenly alone.

I would like to convince you, dear readers, that in such painful instances I am some kind of spiritual giant who never falters in my understanding of What A Friend I Have In Jesus. But alas, as is always the case, it is He that winds up doing most of the spiritual somersaults while I sheepishly reap the benefits.

A forward vision, some hope within

God once stated that without a vision the people would perish.  This is true for all people for all time.  He mercifully extends us grace and hope time and time again by gently whispering  sweet dreams for the future to our souls. When Ashley Judd got married a few years ago she stated, “I think marriage is one of the most hopeful things we humans can do.”  I agree and extend that to all my relationships: every time God brings some one new into my life or restores a previously faltering alliance, there is hope that something sweet, amazing and eternal can come of it and…

 I heal in time and try again

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