When I wrote the song, SLEEPING WITH THE LIGHT, it was inspired by my then-current living situation: I was in a bad marriage and was growing closer and closer to the Lord and my partner was growing increasingly abusive. I swapped the genders, made myself the ‘wife” and voila, a song emerged.
SWTL was one of the two emancipation anthems off of my REAL MAN record and, at the time, the song closest to my heart. While it ends with God’s (Satan’s?) vengeance ( and a nod to my fave artist, Diamanda Galas), it begins in turmoil where a needful woman latches onto a brute and deludes herself that he’s heroic in some fashion, that he will save her from her circumstances.
I think all too often we have all been guilty of latching on to the “next big thing” that’s going to make our lives so much better, our worlds complete. The diet, the church program, the man or woman… quick fixes for the immediate gratification set when Jesus is not enough.
I know as a performer and minister people float in and out of my life hoping that my so-called charmed life will rub off on them, only to disappear without a trace when I “fail.” I also look to new people as hope that my work is reaching the minions and I’m becoming more “successful”-a quick fix as well.
Jesus and his followers have taught us that patience, endurance and focusing on the goal and not the status of its success is key to true spiritual living and produces faith, faith that feed this very machine and make us that much stronger to do the work God has given us for this life.
Jesus said that a man who looks about is not worthy of the plow-not safe to operate heavy machinery due to lack of focus. He was clearly referring to the human tendency to feel giddy about following the Lord one moment only to be distracted the next either by worrying about what the Jones’ are doing or by the latest wave of feel good the world has to offer.
And suddenly we find ourselves making choices, commitments, in darkness. Jobs, homes, marriages etc. all acquired in a Jesus-free state that when He begins to move again in our lives we’re doing Talking Heads: “How did I get here?” And worse, now that I am stuck…
We have a merciful God who always comes through to save us. Hallelujah! But the road to recover can be fraught with the pain of succumbing to temptation, distraction and mere will of the flesh. I guess that’s why I’m writing this-to remind myself (and you guys) that today is a really good day to get in the Light, to ward off temptations and distractions, to man the plow with dignity and respect to Him who give us the fields to harvest.